


A Deeper Dive

by Gilli_ann



Series: Pornalot entries 2018 [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Post-Canon, Restraints, Self-Acceptance, Sexual Fantasy, Tentacle Sex, empowerment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 16:46:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16499069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilli_ann/pseuds/Gilli_ann
Summary: Freya becomes increasingly dissatisfied with her life as the Lady of the Lake, including her relationship with Merlin. She takes her fate into her own hands.





	A Deeper Dive

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: The characters belong to the BBC and Shine TV.  
> The lyrics quoted belong to the copyright holders of Alan Walker's song 'Faded'. I intend no copyright infringement and make no profit from this.
> 
> This fic was posted as my entry for Pornalot 2018's 2nd challenge, 'Fantasy'

 

The long years stretched ahead of them, and increasily also behind them.

Merlin would go visit Freya from time to time. She'd always greet him with a smile, but sadness lingered all around when she rose from the lake to come sit with him on a rock by the shore, her feet never leaving the icy water. 

She'd look at him with her dark, dark eyes, her skin and hair dripping wet, her drenched raiment unable to conceal any part of her still-human body. Merlin would avert his gaze to leave her some modesty.

He'd hold her hand, though. Closing his eyes before briefly kissing her cold lips, he'd whisper endearments into the perfect conch of her pale-pink ear. 

When waterlilies were in season, he'd pick the most beautiful ones to bind her a flowery crown. 

"My pretty princess of the lake," he'd murmur tenderly, and she'd blush and lower her eyes. 

Freya seemed so modest, so kind, so chaste, so lovely. Despite the mystical powers she had been granted, despite her eternal life and the otherworldliness of her existence, to Merlin she remained the frightened, young girl that he couldn't save, but always cared for, the one who inhabited his purest pastoral fantasies. In his dreams they'd run across green meadows, laughing and carefree and hand in hand, stealing shy kisses behind the barn, staying up to watch the stars. 

He'd squeeze her fingers and leave kisses in the palms of her empty hands every time he left. "You're still my lady, the one and only," he'd tell her in good-bye.

Then, one day, after many years of travelling far lands while waiting for Arthur, Merlin returned to the lake, and found it empty. He couldn't sense Freya's presence. The shimmer of her protective powers had faded. The heavy mists lingering on the lake had lost their enchantment.

He could hardly believe it, but eventually had to accept it.

Freya was gone, and he never discovered what had happened to her.

* * *

_Where are you now_  
 _Was it all in my fantasy_  
 _Where are you now_  
 _Were you only imaginary_  
 _Where are you now?_

* * *

The long years stretched ahead of them, and increasily also behind them.

It was a long time now since she'd received the magnificent Excalibur for safekeeping. It was not up to her to determine when King Arthur would return to his world and require his enchanted weapon, but she wished he would hurry up.

Increasingly, Freya chafed at the constraints of her strange and lonely aquatic life, magically transformed though she was.

There was a chill that she couldn't chase. The lake waters parted around her with cold indifference. 

Freya longed for warmth instead, for pressure and friction and fever-heat.

She imagined an immense Kraken, rising from the depths to bind her arms and legs with tentacles twisting around her limbs like iron bands, turning her squirming, helpless body this way and that in the fractured sunlight just below the surface. She thought of suction cups leaving marks across her most sensitive skin, and the hard, knobbly end of one exploring tentacle entering her, filling her completely and moving rhytmically like a living thing inside of her. The fantasy shocked her, but would not leave her. It set her on fire. 

She longed to encounter one of the notoriously dashing mermen, whose urges were said to be insatiable. Laughing with glee, he'd embrace her with strong arms and pull her downwards in a spiral of pleasure and heated kisses, his long, tactile tongue exploring her mouth, his undulating tail rubbing between her legs as she rode it all the way down into warm, welcoming darkness.

Yes, she dreamed of discovering whole communities of passionate merfolk in the uncharted depths. Oh, she wanted to see and be seen, to touch and be touched, to learn all the secrets of desire, to be made flesh and lust and hot, hot blood. She would revel in the sensations such a life would bring her, to have so much heat coursing through her that it'd burst outwards and make the very lake-waters boil. 

There were beckoning seas, wider oceans, undiscovered realms in the deep. The creatures and spirits living there might be demanding, uncaring or even cruel— Freya did not know, but she wanted to find out. At least they'd surely not place her on a pedestal as a revered image of beautiful purity. The denizens of the deep would not be as blind as Merlin, pretending to himself that he loved her, while in reality waiting for his only true love, his king and future lover, to return at last. 

Freya longed to make her fantasies real. 

She knew what she wanted, and she'd never find it in Lake Avalon.

She left.

* * *

_These shallow waters never met_  
 _What I needed_  
 _I'm letting go_  
 _A deeper dive_  
 _Eternal silence of the sea_  
 _I'm breathing_  
 _Alive_


End file.
